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Recognition, Success, and Fear

Thu Apr 10, 2014, 11:07 PM


Attempting to vocalize an ineffable thought.... The need for recognition is going to kill me. What is meant by that? A variety of things. For one thing, the annihilation of the independence of self, and possibly, of individuation itself. It begins to collapse when it can no longer sustain itself by its own means. However, the process can be slowed if some outside encouragement is offered which causes one to be able continue on no matter the enormous difficulty of the task. Why is that?  

All human beings receive recognition from the moment they are born, as they grow up and undergo a variety of changes which allows them to become what they are. This is inescapable, as it is part of coming into being. The reliance on such thing is a very terrible thing. So how do we avoid it? Can balance be maintained? Should advice and instruction always be acted upon? At what point does it become someone else's will? Perhaps it would be acceptable, nay, even noble, if the intentions were good and they can be. But what if they aren't?

How can we keep ourselves from going astray, but by knowing ourselves? And that is what stings the most. I know all this. Every second I act contrary to this, it feels worse and worse. Just when I stop to inwardly reflect on how far I've come, I realize that I haven't actually gone anywhere and the journey ahead keeps on continuing with no end in sight.

My quest towards the ideal isn't actualized yet, but it is the possibility that it could be—with work and effort in overcoming that which stands in the way which drives me. And what is that? Fear. Fear of what? Of being wrong and failing to meet expectations. Essentially, to not be what I wish or what I intend. The words clog in my throat, even when I know the answer, I am unable to speak because I'm afraid I'll be questioned further and further, trapped in a Socratic dialectic where speech fails me and my silence is reflective, representative of me.

But success cannot be attained unless the deed is done. The action itself is the only way triumph can be obtained. When one acts regardless of the outcome, that is what separates the two. The person who succeeds did so, knowing full well they could have failed and yet they did it despite the doubt. The person who fails the worse is the person who did not act at all, while the person who acted but failed merely needs more improvement... which cannot be acquired without experience.



  • Mood: Anguish

Magic Feature IX

Mon Apr 7, 2014, 9:21 PM


Gaurdian of the Forest Realm by Deliquesce-Flux
Mushroom Bokeh. by HeatherSchoffGood Morning by SAMLIM
FREE Bokeh texture rain 1 by FrancescaDelfinoAncient Spirit by Samantha-meglioliFairies by LadyyLaRueNyx - The Mist by RebeccaLitchfieldSearching for the light by AnnOmar
wild things by SabrinaCichyStone Stairs by PajunenThe enchanted forest by TheKiller-Queen
S P R I N G . P O W E R by Krisseybluetit in cherry blossoms by Lain-AwakeAtNight
Sakura Arch by WindyLifeBrotherhood by MRFartsBelieve by JustinDeRosa
the beauty and the soft by Shadows-in-TwilightWaiting For Little Red Riding Hood by BluyStardust
Tales From a Dream by John-Peter
Spring by vanillapearlSpring Memories by Justine1985
Tresures of Nature by WhiteBookSleeping Beauty by VLCPhoto
Oak Alley Plantation by cehavard90
78/100 AND 10/52: FAIRIES by Foufinha
Fashion Summer v.11 by Serrgeon
Summer blooms by lauriegirl48clouded mind by michellis13
shy by tasiy
Dreamland by ExplicitStudiosCascade Avenue - Partnach Gorge, Bavaria by davidrichterphotoTawny owl by phalalcrocorax...trakoscan castle VII... by roblfc1892
Peacock Queen by nikkiphoto46
Magic forest by marriestAurora Australis and clouds by jenne-j
Titans by InebriantiaMagic by artviveslidiaMagic Riwer by tomspec22
Shooting Star II by Questavia by Questavia
Call Of Atlantis by Vitaly-Sokol
Sea Light by jbrumentanglement by knold
Innsbruck Old Town archways 1 by wildplacesMidas Touch by Questaviamanifestations by locolandmyth of Sysyphus by locolandV0ltZz by Lanzie
Impact on the Shore by MarkLuceyColorfull by G-gaga





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  • Mood: Adoration

Feminine Feature

Sun Mar 30, 2014, 4:57 PM
In a flood of flowers by Arryja
niemand vermisst und by connygrinsophelia by robinpika
My Lovely Summer by Lileinaya
yellowish by athrawnAdmiring Stillness by CherishKay
a moment in time by michellis13
Retrieving the Arrow by NaturePunkRachel by Samantha-meglioliLost Boys by uglybug
Dark and Bright by paulisaWoman - Scream Of Nature by Prudrunterion
Wandering Princess by januarain
A peculiar self by ColoursOfTheMoonThe grass blades won't cut you by ColoursOfTheMoon
D439 by miobi
The Field by naked-in-the-rainFloral Rain by mukuotukai
konwalia by Lover-and-the-Wild
misty forest by dominikovaKatara by fogkeedge of nothing by vampire-zombie
Eyes Like Seaglass by Queen-Kitty
Fog by DominiqueWessonI had a secret to keep by StephanieSchneider
introspection by emptytredheadUntitled by nairafee
Green dream by Lunarria
Floater by KykyMegmegKnockin' on heaven's door by oem-oeh
flavor by AledganCult by marleendekkercold by zeberko
Defiant ColorSM by ShadowWolf784Spring by HappyKootie
Lonely by ajmphotographer

Texture © cloaks Skin coding © Nesmaty
  • Mood: Adoration

Magic Feature VIII

Tue Mar 11, 2014, 3:09 PM


How Strange, Innocence by CookmePancakesColourful by StephiPhotography
Soft landing by TygrikSnow Drifts by StephiPhotography
When We Were Gods by ChopenDark Sorceress by MD-Arts
chasing old ideas. by gloeckchenFallen by AnitaAnti
Origins by LaanscapesMermaids by CookmePancakes
Dance with the dead by Samantha-meglioliColossus - Part II by InebriantiaColors by LeikaChan
sea side... by BaxiaArtchangling by awjay
Lake Taupo by StephiPhotographyMg 7735 by AkaSling
On the enchanted trail by jchandersjust sunset by Merkulov
fragile naivety by diamondririSpringtime in Wuppertal III by Sockrattes
Worlds Collide by KatharinaKuebler-Late evening in Moravia- by Janek-Sedlar
Day 190 - The Lucky Dragon by MonsterBrandHere Comes the Spring... hic! by Alvirdimus
Anastasiya by kobzevaelenalovers by all17
A Cambridge Spring by George---KirkAs an angel she lays by diensilver
Once Upon a Time in the Woods by AneedeRiver Corners by CherishKay
late war wound by Olessa
Capuchinhos by A2MatosAutumn by m-eralp
World Of Make-Believe by GothicNarcissus23/365 by XWhite-FireX
The Dragon Bridge by SAMLIM2014 - 03 Tinuviel by W0LLE
Lady Daydream by EmilySotoThe Enchanted Path by FlabnBoneGreece - Athen - Anafiotika - Narrow Street - 02 by GiardQatar




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  • Mood: Adoration

Magic Feature VII

Mon Jan 20, 2014, 1:41 AM
Wish upon a star... by dashakern
The Birth by naked-in-the-rainSo Much Hustle by WishmasterAlchemist
fear of the dark by arbebukAmazon by vonsac
Turawa Lake by PawelUchorczak
gone with the wind by xChristina27xFairyland by Michaelthien
37 by alealara
End of the Day by LuizaLazar
East Shore Sunset130912-33 by MartinGolleryWildfire by WNaturalism
Winter Mushrooms by TheSpeckledWoodsWitchcraft II by AgnieszkaOsipa
I don't speak human by ZawArt
Books by Holly-HatterAnybody home by LioniqueStargazing by andreimogan
Jesse by aufzehengehen
Feel Again by scathing-sanityFace the Sun by ChasingShadowsPhotoa little close by SPLinTER-OPS
Maybe you're missing by tayaiv
Green Latern by Quit007Rain Tree 2 by redphoenixgallery
Catarata del Toro by CBascoIron Lantern by Quit007
Twins by Annieta-KrMiles to Go by LAlight
cli by benimdeviantRed Berries V by uglybug
September Forest by Justine1985
Home Tweet Home by greggorievichPantheon - Rome by stevegek
Always Be Together... by BluyStardustSand Harbor Sunset140108-41 by MartinGollery
Regret by KevinRossatty
Meeting the spring morning sun by jchandersWoodland track by maureenbracewell
Greece - Delphi - Tholos - 03 by GiardQatarThe mystic's dream by absentii
Ender Falls by lepersabstainAutumn Colors 3 by CitizenFresh
just the way you are by riskonelook




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  • Mood: Adoration

Midnight Musings...

Sun Jan 12, 2014, 10:20 PM
I often wonder if it would be better to know one's fate than it would be to be left in complete ignorance of one's purpose in life. Some might even be so bold as to say we create our own fates and that would be no less true than any other answer, But, what if there were another answer? If things were pre-determined... that wouldn't necessarily mean I'd be utterly without choice for it would still be I choosing to do said actions. One the other hand, having the ability to create one's own future exactly as one chooses would be equally as taxing, since it would require one to be burdened with the responsibility that comes with being a creator. Each path is appealing in its own right, but which do I believe or prefer? Is not my own knowledge uncertain at times? Doubt creeps in, enveloping  my entire being with both agony and despair. Inaction, being a direct consequence of that, is something I must ward  and fortify myself against. This is difficult, however because I can't always tell why I do the things I do. I seem to be lacking some kind of foresight at the moment. The more I talk about the future the more unclear and uncertain it becomes in my mind's eye. And it terrifies me so. School starts again in a week. How much more is there left to learn? Maybe I truly don't know anything.

  • Mood: Defeated

Magic Feature VI

Fri Jan 3, 2014, 9:23 AM


s p e c t r u m {kaleidoscope lights} by skygazingEin rosa Traum by MookieKid
 Open your wings by Fra-Emer Star of the beach by peterpateman 
Turtle Light by bridgetbright misty canyon by Moophlon 
Mermaid Washed Up by raine-angel Lakeside Castle by TheCameraGirl unidentified mushroom by owlbird 
Romantic of winter by sternenfern Winter Wonderland 3 by amberleephotography 
blue lagoon by Zlata-Petal Dachstein by focusgallery 
Seashell Lambis Truncata by Vitaly-Sokol Datca by RezzanATAKOL 
Seychelles, quaint granite. by fly10 New World by KRHPhotography 
.:Virgin River Glow:. by RHCheng Ostrzyca by all17 
Beauty After the Bust by FramedByNature Tahoe East Shore Late December Color by sellsworth 
Tears in Solace by Jordan-Roberts A kind of Magic by LuizaLazar 
September Rain by LuizaLazar Hope by SomethingNotMatter 
The Secret Garden by BluyStardust Rose by Clayton67 
adventurous by Thunderi Short and Stout by kkboogie800 Evergreen by x-horizon
welcome to neverland by SolMay Solitude by VasiDgallery 
The Joy of Seasons by John-Peter Bluetenstecher by dansch Mirrors by lilithfirefly
Do not let me find myself by firepaved week48 by cloe-patra 
Spring's sensual beauty by gestiefeltekatze ants kingdom by TanjaMaria 
Good luck and good light in 2014 by jchanders Sunny morning by Fra-Emer 
for Edie by miss-gardener Beautiful Ending by WillTC 
A Winter Tale by John-Peter Rays and shadows by Morgan-Lou 
Wild river by DurdenyrUnderwater by OtvaliChudovische
P or P II by LarsVanDeGoorLordly Oak by FlorentCourty
Glimmering Gorge by lilithfirefly  
Prepare for the destruction. by MintLights The Visitor by charliesmyangel 
autumn sun by Rona-Keller Golden Age by FreuleinK The heart of the forest by Mary-Chan23 
826 by Nigrita 
Fairy Wood III by Weissglut Japanese Autumn by SheltieWolf 





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  • Mood: Mesmerized

Another 365 Project?!

Journal Entry: Sun Dec 29, 2013, 11:09 PM
Skin by SimplySilent


That's correct! Here I go, about to embark on a grand journey hoping to once again capture a plethora of beauty, wonder, and enchantment which occasionally breaks through reality where it can be witnessed, seen, and observed by us mere humans.

In case you are a fairly new or inactive watcher of mine, here are some highlights of the last 365 project I did in 2012:


       Project 365: Day 18 by Identifyed-Khaos Project 365: Day 161 by Identifyed-Khaos
       Project 365: Day 206 by Identifyed-Khaos Project 365: Day 107 by Identifyed-Khaos
       Project 365: Day 244 by Identifyed-Khaos Project 365: Day 286 by Identifyed-Khaos
       Project 365: Day 246 by Identifyed-Khaos Project 365: Day 323 by Identifyed-Khaos
       Project 365: Day 268 by Identifyed-Khaos Project 365: Day 269 by Identifyed-Khaos
       Project 365: Day 346 by Identifyed-KhaosProject 365: Day 329 by Identifyed-Khaos
       Project 365: Day 270 by Identifyed-Khaos Project 365: Day 211 by Identifyed-Khaos
       Project 365: Day 299 by Identifyed-Khaos Project 365: Day 320 by Identifyed-Khaos


Project 365 is essentially where you take one photo every day for one year and at the end of it you get to see how you've grown, progressed, and improved as a photographer/artist.

The only thing is, for at least for the beginning of the project (probably for about the first month or so) I'm going to be uploading photographs I took from a recent family trip I went on. I'm still going to be taking photos every day though! They just won't be uploaded unless something really spectacular happens.. 

Truthfully, I'm kind of nervous to get back into dedicating so much time to photography again because it is also a constant pressure to continue recreating old ideas with a new perspective each time. And, of course, there's that incessant need to do better than the day before, than your last photograph and sometimes it just doesn't happen.

Living with that frustration and disappointment is the hardest part, because until you can manage to find something that others will like, something that will inspire them, or brighten their mood in some way your soul will never feel right. There is just so much negativity in the world already... if I could only lessen it a little bit I'll be happy. My heart will be as light as a feather, so to speak!  


  • Mood: Optimism

The Importance of Political Expression

Wed Sep 18, 2013, 10:22 AM


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Answer me this friends: do you think it is just for someone to get arrested for using chalk on the sidewalk? What about expressing your political opinions? Do we not have those rights? What about censorship? Do you think all opinions should be tolerated or only some? What if it was YOUR opinion that was not tolerated? Would you say something or remain silent?

Check out this podcast my bf and I made and feel free to leave your opinions on the matter:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UydZE…

A like, share, or repost would be much appreciated!


Have a nice day! :heart:




  • Mood: Uneasy
  • Listening to: Ghost-Ritual
  • Reading: Aristotle&#039;s Nichomachean Ethics
  • Playing: Rift &lt;3
  • Drinking: Water

Beautiful Moments

Journal Entry: Mon Aug 26, 2013, 3:46 PM


Fractured Worlds by Inebriantia Heart of the Sunrise by PeterJCoskun

Cotton Clouds by tvurk August Sunset I by JDNight

Emotions by huhahohi Cadence by ColinHSillerud

Love on the beach by FrancescaDelfino The Ant by BokehLight

what dreams may come by locoland in the pink sea by KaterinaRaed

Quietly Beauty by diensilver Pretty in Pink by Houndofthenight

Untitled by Thunderi On the beach by Rozowynos

Little Piece Of Japan by Spademm  Down Here by helios-spada

Nothing to Lose by AbandonedZone The great Escape by deerArylide

Untitled by Robertlnpdg Water 10 (8/11/2013) by xSilentRebelx

The Destroy by PatiMakowska Poem of umbrellas by Pyr0sky

Egyptian Dream by Lleye Morning yoga II by realityDream

No Coming Back by JustinDeRosa Upcoming words by MintLights

Secret Place.. by Khomenko I'm not afraid by all17

Star bokeh 2 by Thunderi swan by Nocturny

Violet spiderweb by fotografka Colour Bomb V by Glenn-Crouch

.:: Hold me ::. by Whimsical-Dreams cleaning time by Zlata-Petal

Blackish by Michaelthien :bigthumb394964785:

Cornwall III by ajnataya 758 by Nigrita

Day 50 by XWhite-FireX Dramatic Sky by lonewolf565

Girl and the ocean by AlexandraSophie Img 2315b by CANON-EOS50D

Ann again by iCyBeRmAnTiS Where our dreams come true by Akirahpaws

TwirlTree by A2Matos Im Urwald by feigenfrucht

Drop by mindlesspuppettoy Little Aliens by AtomicBrownie

Ridley Creek by JustinDeRosa little of colours by wihad

in the middle of the mountains by Pedrojme Lens flare by sylverface

A Butterfly Kiss by photofreak385 My Wish For You by photofreak385

Jumping for joy by ZoranPhoto W H I T E H A L L . G A R D E N by Krissey

One of those dreams...

Thu Jul 4, 2013, 2:09 PM


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You know the kind I'm talking about, where your true desires are revealed and they are so unthinkable and unlikely to happen to you that you aren't sure what to do or how to act for fear you'll wake up and lose everything--the entire experience gone. How can something be so sweet and harsh at the same time? Now that I'm awake, all I want is to go back to that place where everything was uncertain and I didn't dare move a muscle because I truly had no idea what was about to occur to me. Anticipation like I've never felt before coursed through me. There are certain people whose presence just exudes power and it isn't that you want power--you want to give your power to them. So that you are entirely out of control, with no escape and no way out. It is as close to pure chaos as I'm ever going to get. Yet, it is so ironic because this desire conflicts with some of my other views and I have to forcibly separate the two within me just so that they work and I can keep both. A coveted secret in my dreams. 

On another note, I'm extremely excited because you all remember my beautiful golden bottle? The one I haven't photographed in a while because it had a tragic accident at the beach....

Hidden Treasure by Identifyed-KhaosHarness the Ocean by Identifyed-KhaosO u t l a n d i s h by Identifyed-Khaos

Yes, well, that one. I recently discovered that it has a twin! A glorious little bottle just like the previous but it isn't filled with gold--it's filled with silver! I ordered it a few days ago and I am anxiously awaiting its arrival. Things have been kind of slow with my photography lately and I just know this will give me the boost of inspiration I need to create a masterpiece of a photograph! I'm still striving for that DD, no matter how unlikely my getting it may be. :)




Note that:
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, Nesmaty consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.
  • Mood: Big Grin
  • Listening to: Skywatchers-Keep Watching The Sky
  • Reading: Images of Set
  • Playing: With My Subjective Universe... ;)

Fun Game, Win Some Points!

Journal Entry: Thu Jun 27, 2013, 1:14 AM
I thought this game might be fun: 
Pick up the nearest book to you, turn to page 45. The first sentence explains your love life.

Here's mine:

"To demand of strength that it should not express itself as strength, that it should not be a desire to overcome, a desire to throw down, a desire to become master, a thirst for enemies and resistances and triumphs, is just as absurd as to demand of weakness that it should express itself as strength." Friedrich Nietzsche, On the Genealogy of Morals

O____o

What's yours? The most bizarre answer wins 50 points! :excited:


  • Mood: Amused
  • Listening to: Skywatchers--Soul Baptist
  • Reading: Nietzsche
  • Watching: True Blood
  • Playing: Minecraft &lt;333
  • Drinking: Water ^_^

Finding Wandering Inspiration Feature

Mon Jun 17, 2013, 9:03 PM


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memory of trees by waveystar Breathe in passion by tayaiv

in the forest by Zlata-Petal pixie by vampire-zombie

insecure by flodii Memories of day by RezzanATAKOL

Zen Garden pond and bridge by Celem :bigthumb374699947:

The Old Forest by TheCameraGirl Misty Morning by TheCameraGirl

.:Tree Top Landing:. by RHCheng :bigthumb373119534:

Daylight by catchingfyre Bountiful Bokeh by CassieStarFox

Sautoir Ballon by pendorabox Zen by KrisVlad

Green Wall by bwiti Fallen Feather by TammyPhotography

thrown I by tntrekabulator Zoo Friends by TheCameraGirl

B E L L S by Krissey Hide and Seek by LAlight

Adventurous by Xiila 699 by Nigrita 

And there was music amongst the flowers. by ellylucas Purple Bliss by JessicaDobbs

The Porch is Filled With Sweet Lilac Smells by 33M Sphere by Jules1983

Tabitha by EmilySoto Natasha 3 by Pygar

Fairy Wonderland by Lady-Tori Lacelegance by Redanshy

~Cherry tree~ by KumikoTsubaki Bird Colonel by papatheo

Sink or Swim by DrewHopper Better than a Dream by LuizaLazar

Where they hide... by m-eralp Into infinity by bittersweetvenom

Milky way by BorisMrdja My dreams in milky way by IoanBalasanu

J. by shadddow Black and white aussie by Rozowynos

118/365 by DaphneNg Silver Dream by Jumeria-Nox

Imagine by Papageienfreak Pages by XxQuinn701zy

The Shinning Man by xBassxHarmingx The Woman Who Saw Everything by xBassxHarmingx

End Of An Era by PatiMakowska the written words by concealedlight

Last time by diensilver Cat by KrisSimon

Catching light by huhahohi Open The Golden Gate by xChristina27x

Sunset in the gurden by Snowfall-lullaby Whispy Wind by lilithfirefly

gerber by SvitakovaEva Lost in The Crowd by MyLifeThroughTheLens

Portfolio by aufzehengehen Winter by iKaet

When You First See Perfection by Hitomii Upside down by ShadowinLight

Looking  Up by WingChant Waiting For You by helios-spada

SummerTime by LuizaLazar Enchanted Forest II by AnnoraW

  • Mood: Love

Stinging Remarks

Mon May 27, 2013, 6:01 PM


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Have you guys ever had those horrifying dreams, where you experience something that is seemingly impossible or if it did happen you would be surely losing your mind from the sheer physical trauma of it? I ask because I just woke up from a really bad dream. The worse part is I felt every single thing, as though it were really happening to me. There was a thought, while it was happening that I just knew--this can't be real, I must be dreaming. But still, I did not wake up. I kept enduring. Kept struggling to be rid of everything. The dream setting was kind of complicated, it took place in a very dark , rundown building with lots of rooms, long hallways and people were scattered about. One of my professors was teaching a group of students, music which is strange since that is not the subject he teaches. I arrived late and even though there was a perfectly good instrument on the table, he instructed me to make music with a broken glass cup. He first demonstrated, producing a lovely sound when the glass cup was banged against a rock. I proceeded to try to imitate his actions, but could not even hold the object. It would slip out of my hands as if it didn't belong there. I settled for holding it incorrectly, by the sharp jagged edges that were thinner than the rest of it. But another student and the professor both insisted that was wrong-that I was going to cut myself by holding it that way. I became increasingly frustrated because it was the only way I could hold the glass so that it wouldn't slip from my grasp. Finally, I left the room refusing to continue. This next part is even worse. I encountered a girl I admired and told her I liked her. Before I could finish speaking, she kissed me. It was intimate and sloppy. Sounds nice, right? Not really. Because I soon discovered shortly after that, that the kiss caused something horrible to occur within. I, somehow, had contracted a whole bunch of living baby scorpions in my mouth from the kiss. I spent the rest of the dream spitting them out. Some were alive, others were only body parts such as their claws or tails. And some of them were so stuck inside my mouth that I had to pry them out with my hands. I even ended up swallowing some of them. Which is a worse alternative, if you can imagine, than spitting them out or having them in your mouth at all. These scorpions, weren't exactly like the flimsy creatures I've seen before. It was like they were made of bone, stronger and more indestructible than how they normally are. Mind you, I'm already terrified of scorpions, spiders, and insects to begin with. This just made it ten times worse. I mean, I'm pretty sure I know the meaning my subconscious was trying to impart to me by making me experience such imagery, but seriously?! Like I wouldn't have understood if a gentle old man just explained it? No? Guess not. Why do things always have to be done the hard way? Why can't I just speak my mind? Why must I constantly wait until my words are literally stinging me, destroying me, clawing to be let out of my mouth? I don't know if it will ever change.


Anyway, what have your dreams been like lately? Hopefully, they are a hell of a lot better than mine. :( Feel free to share them in the comments, I'd love to hear them! Perhaps I could offer some insight as to what I think they may mean, if your interested. Or I can simply listen, either or. :)


  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: Broken Social Scene: Cause = Time
  • Reading: Plato&#039;s Symposium
  • Playing: With My Subjective Universe... ;)
  • Eating: NOTHING. EVER. AGAIN.
  • Drinking: Dr. Pepper &lt;3

The Desert of the Real

Thu Apr 25, 2013, 9:54 PM


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Where do I even begin? The semester is quickly drawing to a close. I'm currently undecided as to whether or not I learned everything I needed to. It is difficult for me to get past my own biases. My anger and arrogance continues to get the better of me. And I can't help but think highly of myself. Quite often, this means putting others down. Some of it may be due to bitterness. That is also why I haven't written many journals lately. I've been too busy drowning out my own thoughts with entertainment and occasionally (when deadlines draw near) completing schoolwork. My latest essay I'm particularly excited about. Although, it has caused me to wonder if I even know what reality is, apart from its definition. Nevertheless, I've enjoyed reading and exploring these concepts again and again from different perspectives and philosophers. ^_^ This journal skin actually, reminds me of the map Borges describes in On Exactitude in Science...The perfect allegory of second-order simulacra, Baudrillard called it. The empire that is tattered, its map in ruins--so accurately reflects societies current situation. We have become the desert of the real.



So very matrix-y, I know.


  • Mood: Apprehensive
  • Reading: Simulations by Baudrillard
  • Watching: The Vampire Diaries &lt;33333
  • Playing: With My Subjective Universe... ;)
  • Drinking: Vanilla Chai Tea

Early Spring Contest Winners!!!

Journal Entry: Thu Apr 18, 2013, 5:35 PM
Facebook l Gallery l dA Portfolio l Watch Me l Note Me l Journal Skins: How-To

Greetings lovely watchers,

I'm pleased to announce the winners of the Early Spring Contest :heart:


:heart:*~*:heart:*~*:heart:*~*:heart::bulletpink:*~*:bulletyellow:*~*:bulletpink:*~*:bulletyellow:*~*:bulletpink: 1st Place :bulletpink:*~*:bulletyellow:*~*:bulletpink:*~*:bulletyellow:*~*:bulletpink::heart:*~*:heart:*~*:heart:*~*:heart:
:love::dance::happybounce: Goes to :iconegil21: whose entry:
You are the sunshine. by Egil21 won with 26 votes! :love::dance::happybounce:
Check out some of her amazing gallery:
Colour Desire by Egil21 Sweet Scent by Egil21
25 Fountains by Egil21 Private Garden by Egil21
What? Up there? by Egil21 The Last Sunset by Egil21
Bright Spring by Egil21 Love Level by Egil21
The Secret Inside by Egil21 Magnificent by Egil21


:heart:*~*:heart:*~*:heart:*~*:heart::bulletpink:*~*:bulletyellow:*~*:bulletpink:*~*:bulletyellow:*~*:bulletpink: 2nd Place :bulletpink:*~*:bulletyellow:*~*:bulletpink:*~*:bulletyellow:*~*:bulletpink::heart:*~*:heart:*~*:heart:*~*:heart:
:love::dance::happybounce: Goes to :iconmilasery: whose entry:
Morning sun by Milasery won with 16 votes! :love::dance::happybounce:
Check out some of her amazing gallery:
Lavender by Milasery Cuties by Milasery
Drowning by Milasery Everything will come to an end by Milasery
Cat Eye by Milasery What are ya lookin' at? by Milasery
Vanilla Sun by Milasery Left by Milasery
Fresh by Milasery Winter sunrise by Milasery


:heart:*~*:heart:*~*:heart:*~*:heart::bulletpink:*~*:bulletyellow:*~*:bulletpink:*~*:bulletyellow:*~*:bulletpink: 3rd Place :bulletpink:*~*:bulletyellow:*~*:bulletpink:*~*:bulletyellow:*~*:bulletpink::heart:*~*:heart:*~*:heart:*~*:heart:
:love::dance::happybounce: Goes to :iconkaz-d: whose entry:
A hint of Spring by Kaz-D won with 14 votes! :love::dance::happybounce:
Check out some of her amazing gallery:
Last Years Blossom by Kaz-D 1st day of Autumn by Kaz-D
The Bluebells by Kaz-D Day Eighty Nine: Last of the Sunshine by Kaz-D
Still waiting for snow by Kaz-D Blue September by Kaz-D
Sunset over Colwell by Kaz-D Summer Lovin by Kaz-D
Waiting for the snow by Kaz-D Day Sixty Three: March Showers by Kaz-D


There you have it folks, :happybounce:
I really hope you all enjoyed, :dance:
It was lots of fun hosting this contest :meow:
May there be many more to come! :love::heart:

CSS made by TwiggyTeeluck
Brush by nuarted
  • Mood: Sweet
  • Listening to: TTA Podcast 105
  • Playing: Animal Crossing &lt;3
  • Eating: Chips :3
  • Drinking: Dr. Pepper! ^_^

Magic Feature V

Wed Apr 10, 2013, 5:07 PM


:love::love::love::love::love: Greetings my lovely watchers!!! :love::love::love::love::love:
:D:D:D:D:D:D Hope you all are having a fantastic day... :D:D:D:D:D:D:D
:dance::dance::dance::dance:Cause it's time for another Magic Feature! :dance::dance::dance::dance:

Springtime by Squinsy Sparkle by xChristina27x
Where the fairies live by Dipliner there was a storm yesterday by M0THart
Faeries by Flopa Le bon vieux temps by Kostandina
Dream it! by RezzanATAKOL catch me by Serend1pity
Magic Within the Colosseum by amberleephotography Molten Gold by sfreidin
feather and light, just light. by ElaynaTeos :bigthumb357684484:
week10: lights will guide you home by cloe-patra Hidden Magic by DarkVenusPersephonae
sail by kkarll Solemn Grass by KlarthSan
Summer-like rain by tayaiv Muscheln by MisterMettler
Golden shine by Fra-Emer Sunlight by MintLights
Miss that days by fireandrain97 Summer Hair by EmiNguyen
Magic of Nature by vabserk magic droplets by Cochalita
145 by alwayslate4school An Empty Shell of Loveliness by EneKiedis
Golden Snitch by synconi spring 2013 by all17
Petal Drops by ifsantag Finally... by Milasery
In the mist by tasiy take everything by ADelusionalAlchemist
A Moment of Magic by BeccaCollis 402 by Nigrita
:bigthumb355973862: Magic Forest by anneclaires
Collections by pinkparis1233 Nothings last forever by diensilver
Where is spring? by Pomalowana The Magic Forest by ABucin
Searching for a giant by bwaworga Magic Reading by SemblancePhotography
Castle of Thorns by Baileymalaylee Enchanted by the Moon by MarsiaMS
Explosion by Sarah-BK 14.52 - Winter goodbye. by mylittlebluesky
Bluest by Justine1985 Afternoon by Papageienfreak
No Man's Land by KarelSopek Magical reflection by luka567
Winter by winterwonderlandream Winter Wonderland... by GreenXBalloon
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone. by SofieCFriis She's a Star by MyLifeThroughTheLens
Magic of light's by hotamr .:Life within Death:. by bogdanici
Anxious mushrooms by anschblack Blue with a Touch of Yellow by Tickle-Your-Fancy
Orgovan by baggybunny Maya: Bitter Sun by birdofdecadence
Yellow in her garden. by incredi Campo De'Fiori by Ana-D
Nest II by Tracys-Place Jar of Stars by Sarah-BK



:bulletpink: Magic Feature I: identifyed-tehself.deviantart.…
:bulletpink: Magic Feature II: identifyed-tehself.deviantart.…
:bulletpink: Magic Feature III: identifyed-tehself.deviantart.…
:bulletpink: Magic Feature IV: identifyed-tehself.deviantart.…


:love::love::love:
If you enjoyed these brilliant photos
Don't forget to... Favorite, Comment,
And spread the love!

Have a great day everyone! <3
:love::love::love:



CSS credit goes to:
Stock: Dragoroth-stock, little-spacey, mimose-stock, Dralliance-Stock, Dracoart-Stock, gaiastock, CAStock
Brushes: MouritsaDA-Stock
Coding & graphics: kuschelirmel-stock
  • Mood: Sweet
  • Watching: The Yogscast
  • Playing: Animal Crossing &lt;3
  • Eating: Chips :3
  • Drinking: Dr. Pepper! ^_^

Fantasy Feature

Journal Entry: Wed Mar 27, 2013, 9:56 PM
Every photograph tells a story
Some even allow the viewer
To slip into a beautiful fantasy
Full of wonder and enchantment

cat eye by 01-11-89 * by serikow-m
These Woods Breathe Evil I by GothicNarcissus La Valkyrie: Feelenia by Eworianne
-Trapped desire- by Janek-Sedlar :bigthumb340606787:
The magic feather Sakura by gorlitsa forest fascinated me ii by edaemirdag
Let me in by ildiko-neer *** by oprisco
secret heart 4 by waveystar Katerina by Greed29
.fantasy by anai-lil Zero Wind by erezmarom
Wicca by QuantumElement Dragon Holder Key by KeypersCove
Underwater Dance by ElenaKalis spring touch by elmoabsenta
Abascond by eringraboski Ghosts Of Utopia by MariannaInsomnia
I'll See You In My Dreams by NayeliNeria Zoo Tree by helios-spada
Sleep well by y-o-s-s-i Fairy by la-esmeralda
Think Happy Thoughts And They Lift You In The Air! by gk-reiko wonderland by Jumeria-Nox
cornwall. by nightshadowss Yuno Gasai by NatalieCartman
The dreamer by Alessia-Izzo Flower bird by Lileinaya
the first notebook by soheir dark forest by cloe-patra
Offline mmorpg character by Antalika Lost in a Fairytale by MD-Arts
a fairys tale by DayanaGerber Memories III by ksushiks
The Ring 2 by sweetannchocolate Pani Walewska by MariannaInsomnia
A Love Ritual by Anhen Mermaid's eye by Bokehlie
somewhere in the ocean by fly10 Primal by MD-Arts
Of Mountain Tales And Mythical Creatures by oO-Rein-Oo Chronoscope by iNeedChemicalX
-Alef- by Janek-Sedlar Return to Mad World by Temperate-Sage
Feel The Magic In The Air by JustinDeRosa The Forbidden Forest by Nelleke
Fantasy Rocks by Michaelthien
Magical forest by Glacierman54 Multnomah Falls by cebinc
Multnomah Falls by Great-Basin-Wilds FAIRYTALE GONE MAD - what a creepy car you have by TheSameLie

I really hope you enjoy! :heart:

  • Mood: Eye Candy
  • Drinking: Dr. Pepper! ^_^

Beauty Unlimited

Journal Entry: Sun Mar 17, 2013, 4:59 PM


Dream by Ryan-Bater Coils of the Entangling Plants by dinabelenko
Meow IV by Patholesia Change the weather by dinabelenko
Karita by MiriamJanus no longer human by soheir
Iceland - abandoned home by PatiMakowska Venezia by Ollidoro
Memories of the Past III by Sweet-Nature 3-11-13 by Kel-----Bel
The key of my world by Silvermoonswan The right key by anxiri
Touch of light by LuizaLazar I Don't Mind by MoxxiFish
The Lost by VelvetRedBullet Vetrarbreytin by MarsiaMS
Old times good times II by KariLiimatainen Weekend Mornings by MeishkaBokeh
Majestic Light by Creative--Dragon Summer paradise 8 by NostalgiaAttack
Evening by MintLights :bigthumb357817367:
Brighty Bryce by matthieu-parmentier Too much refulgence by CasheeFoo
Wet and shiny 4 by Bomb-Creator Magic spring by Tamerlana
Breathe me by absentii Maree by AlexandraSophie
Fall Colors by Illiovaca Golden Glow HDR by RRGreiner
Mantar by zaomzom Magical Mushroom by Jacques-Vincent
Griffiths Gully Jetty Sunrise Revisited 2 by DanielleMiner Forest in Windberg by fal-name
Alaska! by Boomagoo :bigthumb358549345:
Keep Looking Up by Kameolynn Sweets for my Sweet by Mina-Ficent
:bigthumb359135784: - Ghostship - by diefotosynthese
weightless by velvetfoxes Follow the leader by XetsaPhoto
Lynn Raging by sassaputzin For You Mom by Deb-e-ann
:bigthumb359151221: Hujan by bwiti
Silence is Everything by scathing-sanity The Dead You Can't Bury by xBassxHarmingx
Echoes Of A Fairy Tale by jkrab Cascades 5775P by Sooper-Deviant
Colourland by MauroSaittaPh Milky way by miirex
dirt and bones by vampire-zombie The Silent Enigma by beyondimpression
Blue by JennyCupcakes vat triptych 12 by ezorenier
Fairytale by Mishellia we are infinite by baravavrova

  • Mood: dA Love

Ouch!

Journal Entry: Mon Mar 11, 2013, 2:07 PM
My head is spinning. Finally I got some honest feedback, constructive criticism. How long I've awaited such a thing.... and yet it sort of stings a little bit. That stab of pain on something I worked so hard on being poked and prodded, the foundation ripped to pieces. My own arrogance blinding me, despite voices of the past echoing warnings to me. I thought surely, my essay was the best. And perhaps it was. But it isn't MY best. There is still more to improve. Even if I couldn't see it. Even if I judged my work to be perfect. It isn't. It's a hard pill to swallow. The truth. Rather than my own delusion. I do that quite often. I shut people down. Because I don't agree with them. I assume everyone is stupid. But they aren't. No more than I am, anyway. An 88. Am I happy with that grade? Is it an honest grade? Would I prefer a 90? Or even a 100? No. I suppose not. I was blindsided before. Failing to edit simply because I thought it was perfect. It wasn't. It never will be.

There are very few times where I become infuriated. Scratch that, I get infuriated OFTEN! But what I mean to say is there are very few times where I get upset over things that actually matter to me. Things related to my intelligence or intellectual creations would be one of them. It's an honest grade. It is. But I wanted more. I will always want more. How insufferable this quest is! And absurd. There are times where I can't stop myself from laughing. Everything just feels like one big joke. And I don't know why I'm here. What I'm doing taking these classes. Caring so much about philosophy. Over estimating my intelligence and being hindered as a result. I have to carry these things every single day. I am very much alone. I cringe when I think about my interactions with others. And how easily I give up. The thought dawns on me and I feel like running far away from it. Into another fantasy. Removed from reality. Isolated.

Am I disappointed? A bit. I just wanted to hear the words, "FANTASTIC"! That would have been great. Why can't I just write the script myself? Perhaps I should. Create my own story. Crush all the characters spirits before the end of the first page. It'll be the most epic tragedy of our time. More than likely, it'll be read by no one. And on the off chance it ever becomes big, it will be diluted for the ignorant masses to consume. What's the point of doing such a thing? I know, I know! My attitude is somewhat defeated and pessimistic at this moment. But it is my feelings that I'm expressing. And this is my journal, damnit! I can confess all my inner most thoughts! It's the internet, there's no charge for doing such things yet!

I suppose I'll get over it soon. I have a whole week to wallow and recover. Once I feel better, I'll revise it. And then the next challenge awaits. The next part of the essay is going to be difficult. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to connect them well enough. I don't want to think that the first part of my essay isn't good enough. I can connect it. Make the pieces fit. I already got a head start on reading the book I'm going to write about. Thought writing about Sartre would make it easier. It would certainly go along with Nietzsche's thought better but... I don't want to take the easy road. I want to make it relevant to now. Plus, after the novel of a discussion post I wrote writing about Sartre again would just make me feel like I'm repeating myself. Maybe that's all I am, a parrot repeating words. Maybe I've finally become everything I despised. I am that monster.

  • Mood: Defeated
  • Listening to: Ego and the Ids--Knight in the Abyss
  • Reading: The Hermetic Tradition
  • Playing: Animal Crossing &lt;3
  • Drinking: Dr. Pepper! :c